Photo & article by John Brundage

4 minute read

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these.

Matthew: 6:25-29

I traveled over 15,000 miles this summer, a little over halfway around the world with all of it added together. Small potatoes I’m sure for many musicians, consultants, or truck drivers, let alone any inter continental travelers. But for me it was the summer of a lifetime. A condensed list of places I went includes Ottawa, Steubenville, Houston, Massachusetts, Guadalajara, Sault Ste. Marie, Vancouver, Victoria, and Calgary. 

I could easily write a blog post about each of these stops (if Trevor ever starts a travel blog I just might!). For now I’ll just say it was a whirlwind of ministry, Spanish immersion, violin playing, hiking, tent camping, quality time with friends new and old, ordination celebrations, amazing food, jaw dropping scenery, and lots and lots of time in cars and airports.

What I want to share for this post is the story of how this summer of travel happened in the first place. I’m a seminarian, and seminarians aren’t usually rolling in the disposable income necessary to travel this extensively. To be clear:  I don’t want any pity whatsoever from you for that; I’ve never in my life had to go without food, and as a seminarian all of my necessities are paid for. I live quite a privileged life in many ways even without an income. 

What I am saying is that it wasn’t obvious how I could go where I wanted without running out of money. I wouldn’t have attempted a travel slate like this even when I was employed. It’s true that at the beginning of the summer most of my trips were paid for, but many of them weren’t. I felt conflicted. On the one hand, I had many exciting opportunities (e.g. to learn Spanish, support my friends, use my gifts etc.) which aligned with my values, and which seemed like what God wanted me to do. On the other hand, I felt faced with a brick wall made out of the money I didn’t have. For the first time in a while, I found myself worried and discouraged over money.

It was the first time in a while because in the past I’ve had a strong trust in God with money. I met Trevor when we both worked for a ministry called Catholic Christian Outreach. As missionaries, we lived by providence, relying on donations to fund our salaries. This radical lifestyle served as a bootcamp for trusting in God, and I saw him come through time and time again, often at the 11th hour. To help us operate out of this trust, our training taught us to have a vision driven approach to our ministry. 

Someone with a budget driven mentality makes decisions by working backwards from how much money they have. By contrast, a vision driven person starts with their desires and goals, and from there they determine what they can afford. One question I’ve found helpful to reflect on from time to time is: ‘what would I choose to do if I had an infinite amount of money?’ 

The difference might seem minor, even obnoxiously trivial to someone going through money troubles, but I’ve found it makes a huge difference, especially when it comes to revealing values. It’s so easy to get so caught up in viewing things from the perspective of our financial limitations that we can forget what we truly want. Even worse, we can close our ears to what God wants for our lives. I’ve seen time and time again that when money is the only good reason against doing something, it’s worth taking a second look at our options from a posture of prayer. When I asked myself in prayer what I would do if I had an infinite amount of money, the matter was instantly clarified: “of course I would go learn Spanish, and of course I’d go support my brother seminarian at his ordination.” As I realized this, the following words rang in my heart: “God is generous.”

This experience gave me the conviction that the financial side of things would work out. I resolved to go to Mexico and Vancouver (and later a few other places) before I knew how I could afford them. A few days after I decided to go to Mexico my Mom offered to pay for my flights without me asking. This was the first of countless acts of generosity and hospitality I received (including from Trevor and his lovely wife Dianne) during my travels, shaving thousands of dollars off the expenses I would have otherwise had.

This isn’t to say that everything was covered. My bank account did take a substantial dent, one I certainly wouldn’t have been comfortable with at the beginning of the summer. But through the generosity and freedom from worry I did receive, God was giving me something far greater than merely a trust that from time to time he’d bail me out of a few thousand dollars. He was teaching me that my happiness and security did not depend on money, and that I didn’t need to cling so tightly to it that I’d let fear drive me away from doing and experiencing good.

In my time with CCO, I would often invite students to place Jesus at the centre of their lives. How do you know that Jesus is at the centre of your life? Another question I’ve found helpful is this: where do you get your sense of security, identity, and self esteem? For me, my sense that I am safe and that everything will be ok has all too often hinged on how confident I was that I would be able to bring in enough money to sustain me. This summer reminded me that while I can’t ignore money, God will always take care of me. When Jesus is at the centre of our life, we can hear and trust in his promises.

I encourage you to take time to prayerfully reflect on the role money plays in your life, and where your sense of security, identity, and self esteem comes from. May the Holy Spirit guide you into an unshakable confidence in the goodness and love of the Father. 

John Brundage is a seminarian with the Companions of the Cross. He also writes a Substack Newsletter called Integrated Prayer.

Check out John’s faith-related articles here!