Photo by Ayoola Salako on Unsplash

I feel things strongly and quickly. What this means: if the Ottawa Senators score an amazing goal, my neighbours from down the street can hear me yell in jubilation. In fact, I once triggered a 911 emergency call from my Apple Watch when I jumped up and down in celebration of a Sens goal against the Maple Leafs. What this also means: I can experience deep and strong negative feelings when there are interpersonal problems.

Negative emotions are never fun to experience. I’ve had moments where my heart is tense, stressed, or anxious because of what happened in relationship. We don’t have to go too far to find conflict, disagreement, and trials in our daily life—especially when it involves other people. I’ve sometimes struggled with negative emotions and I’ve tried to be intentional about responding charitably.

A priest friend encouraged me to make an inventory check-in when I experience negative emotions. It’s also known as sweeping my side of the street. I’ve gotten into the habit of taking some reflection time and asking myself what is really going on. It’s a pretty simple and powerful process.

When these feelings or thoughts come up, I find time on my next break and journal for three to five minutes. It’s really important to get my pen on paper and my thoughts out there. Then I am not living in my head.

So here is a reflection process for sweeping my side of the street:

1. What happened?
2. How did I react?
3. When have I done something like that before?
4. What ought I do, going from here?

The last step is especially important. This puts us in the driver’s seat. We don’t have power over many things in our lives, but we do have power in how we react and respond! 

I notice that anxiety, sadness, anger, and other negative emotions usually boil down to a fear. Journaling helps identify it. I acknowledge what happened and I make amends as to what I can do. I’ve found it to be quite helpful because I am able to enter into the rest of my day with peace. Then life continues. I’ve responded to whatever happened with grace. Leadership is about the responses we make, day in and day out.