Last summer I was having a particularly rough day with grief.

If anyone has lost someone special, maybe you can relate.

Some days I felt alone, depressed, and anxious. I would become discouraged and challenged with this new uncertainty of continuing life without this person.

During this time of great grief, I had a friend who displayed great virtue.

I took the day off work because I was struggling emotionally. It took me a while to get out of bed because the wave of grief hit me hard that day.

Trying to put one foot in front of the other, I called a friend. As a student, this friend was free to go for a walk. When he came over, he gave me a big hug. He didn’t say much and let me express my dark feelings and my overwhelmingly tough morning. My favourite part is that he brought me food from Aladdin’s. In Ottawa, they make Lebanese pies that taste delicious. So we went for a walk, ate a good lunch, and played a game of cribbage. Even though it was a hard day, he literally walked with me in my suffering.

Think for a moment of a time when you encountered someone who displayed great virtue.

Did it not lift you up?

Did it not want you to be a better person?

In this situation, I saw my friend display great virtue. By virtue I will pull a description from what the Catechism of the Catholic Church says, “A virtue is an habitual and firm disposition to do the good. It allows the person not only to perform good acts, but to give the best of himself. The virtuous person tends toward the good with all his sensory and spiritual powers; he pursues the good and chooses it in concrete actions.”

That day my friend performed a good act and gave the best of himself. In that moment he was a friend that shared the pain and lifted me up.

As a leader, virtue enables us to give the best of ourselves in any situation. It forms our character so that we can be charitable and great.

How can we grow in virtue, then? It might seem intangible or hard to understand. Briefly, I’d like to share three steps to grow in virtue.

1 – Learn the virtues.

First, I would recommend learning about them. I’ve read Virtuous Leadership by Alexandre Havard and the Virtue Driven Life by Benedict Groeshel. They are both good books. I’m also planning to read Back to Virtue by Peter Kreeft. But basically, I can share that there are 4 main virtues, the ‘Cardinal Virtues’, from which all natural virtues come from.

They are:

• Prudence – discerning what is right in a situation.

• Temperance – the practice of moderation.

• Justice – giving others their due.

• Courage – overcoming obstacles.

Read up on the virtues and you will find something very valuable and precious.

2 – Start Small.

When we read about the virtues, we might find that there are areas we are strong and weak in. Some time of reflection might help understand our weaknesses. I would then recommend starting with one virtue that we may lack. A virtue is a habit and it takes time to cultivate. So be patient and choose that one area. A growth in virtue will have a ripple effect in our lives.

3 – Just do it!

Virtues are habits and habits are actions. Just do it. That’s all there is to it. You can take the first step and learn, however if you don’t put it into practice you will not succeed in growing virtue. The virtues are cultivated and never mastered. It requires a life-time of practice.

My friend inspired me to virtue after extending his presence and concern in my time of sadness. We could say he practiced prudence, in choosing to walk with me during my grief; temperance, in offering to spend his afternoon away from his studies; justice, in giving me his support; and fortitude, encouraging me to feel the great loss in my life and to continue onwards.

As a leader, we can do great things that will leave a mark. Virtue will be remembered because it’s the mark that shows us we’ve given the best of ourselves.

Now, what is the one virtue you are lacking in right now?