Artwork by Trevor Anzai

The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.

This past year was very challenging and difficult. I experienced loss, grief, and sickness all within a full calendar year. The climax of an unfortunately difficult season peaked in August, when my wife and I were to spend a family vacation in New Brunswick. A few days before leaving, my mental health acted out once again and forced us to cancel the trip. We didn’t go to New Brunswick, and we tried to find small ways to celebrate a much-needed vacation. Yet, it didn’t replace the great sadness of missing out on quality family time. Having to postpone fun events was a recurring problem as my mental health was struggling this year. It was tough.

Just the other day, I spent an evening meal with old friends. It really struck me that most of them also experienced a hard year. You, too, are not alone. For those of you who struggled and felt burdened, I wrote some words of encouragement. Guided by the Serenity Prayer, here are three things we can do to make this upcoming year an awesome one—despite the inevitable challenges that will come. It’s about turning the page on a harder chapter and beginning a new one. 

Turning the page: change our attitudes

I used cognitive behaviour therapy to improve my positive thinking on harder mental health days. I would ask myself how I wanted to feel, and then I would do some sort of behaviour to help me experience it. For example, I had tiresome days with little energy. In the moment, I changed my thinking. I asked myself how to feel energized, and that led me to paint something or organize the house. I slowly started to feel better doing those activities! Further, on down days, I practiced gratitude. As I named the things I was thankful for, it was interesting to see my spirit and composure lift higher and brighter. I was reminded that changing my thoughts and my attitudes helped me turn the page. Similarly, when we look ahead to next year, may we change our thinking and use the harder moments to teach us something valuable—whether it was a lesson, an insight about ourselves, or seeing the positives. Let’s transform hardship into key learning moments.

Turning the page: change what we can control

For every challenging circumstance in life, we can control two things: our reactions and our expectations. We can’t control the first arrow that strikes us, but we can control the second. Hard things will happen to us. Allowing ourselves to feel the pain, sorrow, and grief is very healthy. That is the first arrow. The second arrow is how we respond. As a Japanese proverb says, “Fall seven times, stand up eight.” This year is a year to begin again. 

We can also change our expectations when it comes to ourselves and others. Becoming more reasonable and loving with them is both charitable and freeing. For example, I’ve changed career paths and financial expectations. While I’ve let go of potential financial security, I’ve embraced a positive, rewarding, and healthy lifestyle suited to my limitations. Changing what we can control is the key impetus for living a proactive life (see 7 Habits of Highly Effective People). A good starting point could be this question: If you could change one or two things in your life that would make a significant and positive impact this upcoming year, what would that be? Then, live it out daily. We move from being out of control to in control, from reacting to acting upon, from passive to proactive. 

Turning the page: letting go

It’s easier said than done. Letting go is probably the most important factor for turning the page on last year and beginning a new one. As my priest friend encouraged me, “Let go, or be dragged.” Holding on to what could have been, what should have been, what pains me, or what if is a destructive path. It leads not to the present but falls disparagingly to the past or anxiously to the future. Let the past die and the future unfold itself. Get up and go forward. Sometimes, when I am feeling the grip of the past holding tight strings on my heart, I clench my fist as hard as I can. I remember those memories, thoughts, and hardships. When I am ready, I let go, exhale a big breath, and release my hand. Sometimes I need to do that a few times a day, but the effects remain therapeutic. Prayer and meditation, confession, and the Eucharist are the greatest ways to give God the pain and the struggle, leaving it at the foot of the Cross, and surrendering it all to him.

Turning the page can take place by changing our attitudes, changing what is in our control, and letting go. Through its ups and downs, may this year bring more joy and happiness. May the things that have taken place make you a stronger and more resilient person. It’s the crisis that creates renewal. Thank you for journeying with us. Cheers to a great year ahead and a new chapter!