I lost my Dad to a tragic accident two years ago. We may not have him around anymore, but I surely remember our memories together.

In leadership, we leave a legacy behind with our words. These can be words to build up or words to break down.

At times, my father was a man of few words. He was a quiet and calm man, using words of affirmation only when he really meant it from the heart. I can attest to his strength of character from his use of good words. I never once heard him swear, for example.

I share with you the legacy that my Dad left behind – some memorable quotes to his eldest son. I think they show rich truth to his character as a great man of love. Leadership lies not only in action but in speech.

‘I love you, son.’

My Dad shared these words in my second last conversation I ever had with him. I moved to a new city and was experiencing some loneliness. This moment was special because it was the first and last time my father ever mentioned these words when we spoke on the phone. Yes, he showed love in other ways. I knew I was loved. Yet, to hear these words kindled in me a sense that our relationship was complete and full. We need to hear that we are loved. Anytime Dad would open up you would truly cherish those words in your heart. I’ll never forget those words that he shared just a few days before his tragic accident.

‘Cottage? Cottage?’

Dad was a family man. When Dad was excited for something, he usually summarized his feelings in one word. The cottage to my father was a place of rest. He was a busy body. Always moving about, always on the go. It was hard for him to sit still. And the cottage was a place of rest for him. The cottage also meant quality time with his family. Time for a canoe ride, a good movie, fishing, and sharing a beer.

‘Very rarely will you ever feel 100 percent.’

Dad was a great encourager. I was once a competitive swimmer. We would train 20 hours a week, including two-hour workouts in the morning before school even began. My competitions usually took place on weekends. So you can imagine how challenging it was to race when you were already fatigued from a week of arduous workouts. Dad challenged me to persevere. We learned to race even when we didn’t want to, we learned to work hard even when it was tough. His motto was to put your best effort forward, regardless of how you felt. He acknowledged that life is not perfect and that you will constantly face barriers. But that you can ultimately overcome it by realizing you won’t always feel 100 percent.

‘Google is your friend.’

Dad was good at figuring things out. I often asked questions to my Dad on how to do this, how to do that. When I asked for help, he would usually respond with this quote. He was pointing me to a greater responsibility: resourcefulness. Dad was a do-it-yourself man. He often looked online for videos on how to fix things around the house and how to repair the car. A leader must have a can-do-it attitude, knowing that everything is figureoutable.

‘Obviously…uh…’ (Imagine in a Swedish accent)

Dad loved to share in our fun and games. Growing up around the dinner table, we loved to joke around. One evening over dinner I impersonated Erik Karlsson, a professional hockey player from Sweden, who used the word ‘obviously’ quite regularly in his interviews with his time as an Ottawa Senator. And Dad, who really loved my impersonation, started to quote me. To be honest, for a good four years, Dad would always bring it up. It never got old for him because he loved that impersonation. Even though it got annoying to hear him say it quite often, I am reminded how much he delighted in his children.

‘It builds character.’

Dad was virtuous. He believed that challenges would bring out the best in you, he believed that tough situations would sharpen your person. He believed in fostering character. That included doing the dishes when you didn’t want to, working diligently at your studies to achieve a good grade, and biking home from work in the rain. If I was not happy about a certain situation, I would hear him encourage me with this quote. Leadership is character. He definitely brought that out in our family.

‘My biggest fear is that something would happen to my family.’

Dad was a protector. One particular year I was struggling with an illness and was found to be in the hospital. My Dad came to visit me when I was sick. I remember asking him a question. ‘What’s your greatest fear, Dad?’ He responded, ‘My biggest fear is that something would happen to my family.’ In that moment, I could feel the love that this man had for his family. He provided, he protected. He gave his life for a greater purpose than himself. He gave his life for his family.

And so, leadership is found in our words.

We can be challenged to use our words carefully. Because we never know, they may contribute to the legacy we leave behind.